Day 4 of 8.

It's very demoralising to be constantly criticised when working as hard as you can. There are very few nurses who go into the job expecting praise and gratitude all of the time, but to have to put up with relentless comments, snipes, dirty looks, tuts, and criticisms is soul destroying. I worked 10 hours today with a 2 minute break, which is when I threw a sandwich down my neck because I was starving. Sister E was in charge this morning and although it was impossibly busy again, it was a nice natured shift and the work got done. Sister A was in charge this afternoon and the atmosphere changed. I was helping another nurse for the last couple of hours of my shift because I'd handed over my patients to sister A. She came around to see us both to tell us that we need to make sure the risk assessments are being done because they're not being separated from the main notes and they're getting missed. I think it was aimed at me because she had taken over my patients. She seems to have it in for me lately. It's just so horrible, feeling like crap nurse #1 when I'm trying so hard. Maybe I'm not cut out for this. I need to chase up my officer application. Maybe it's time to move on. :-(

Day 3 of 8.

I didn't write on the day, too tired! More of the same. I'm noticing more and more short tempers from the staff, including myself. There was a big barney involving the night staff very recently. So bad that one of the patients asked to be moved because she couldn't stand the arguing! Very unprofessional. There are the same members of staff that constantly take the piss though, and don't pull their weight. It leads to stress and resentment from everyone else. I received a text message from a friend who was on the late shift that it had gone from bad to worse. I had left at 4pm... was supposed to finish at 2.45pm. It's difficult when you're constantly mithered though, and writing on 8 patients from an early takes some considerable time. It's not going to change is it? The NHS is going down the toilet.

Day 2 of 8.

Written on my phone in my car at 13.25 on my break:
I hate working for the NHS, the organisation is a fucking joke. I have just been made to look like an idiot by sister A. She said I was panicking when I wasn't and she made me go on my break. I am sitting in my car on my own with a coffee because I was near tears before and I didn't want anyone to see me. I'm just sick of being ridiculed all the fucking time. I work so hard for so little reward. I didn't have a break this morning. She was mothering me to get rid of 1 of my patients so she could get someone else in. Turns out she had allocated wrong and he wasn't suitable for that bed. So I got stuck with moving him while she chatted to people at the nurse station. So sick of doing other people's work as well as my own. This ward is a fucking joke. I do not want to be an NHS patient ever, because we're all overworked, overstretched and underpaid. The stress is like nothing I've ever known. It's crap being a junior nurse.

I'm home now. I've just had a micro meal and I'm on some cheap wine. It's horrible but I'm drinking it. The day didn't get much better. The dependency of the patients is too much for the staff numbers. Patients are getting older and sicker and no one ever seems to take that into account. I finished at 21.30. I've had 8 patients all day. Numerous IVs, doctors seemingly unable to follow basic instructions. I think I've sent someone home without an anticoagulant clinic appointment; I'll have to follow that up tomorrow, if I have time. It was the patient I was rushing to get discharged because we needed the bed. I'm dreading tomorrow. It will be more of the same. I'm on a normal early, but I probably won't finish on time. More free labour for the NHS. But we're all supposed to be grateful to have a job, aren't we? I wish I had the brass neck to take the piss and go off sick with stress. It's always the same ones who take the piss. And I'm the one getting yelled at and made fun of.

Day 1 of 8.

Well, it was a busy one but I expected that. No break so I've just had a bacon butty and some chocolate. I was working with my favourite sister E. I took over from a nurse that only ever seems to do half a job. There was loads for me to do as soon as I came on. I was doing lunchtime medications, including IVs. Half the paperwork wasn't done for the ICU patients. It's annoying. My feet are killing me and my legs started aching towards the end of the shift; didn't take me long to get out of the swing of things! There were a ton of IVs to do, including one that I'd never heard of before so had to look it up. There are patients in who have been in for ages. People who need help mobilising etc. We have so few staff and so much work to do. Same old story. Ah well, on a double shift tomorrow. Should be... interesting!

Eight days solid on an NHS ward.

I am about to start an 8 day stretch at work, having had 13 days off. It's my own doing. I requested the first 3 days off of this week to extend my holidays, and the last 3 days of next week because of TA training. Still, it's going to be a stinker of a week. What is worse is that I can't go to military fitness classes until next Tuesday (6 day gap) because of my shifts. I'm going to be requesting many more shifts in future, everyone else does!

Anyway, I'm going to try to put something on here every single day for the next 8 days. I'm on a late shift today. Time for another coffee before I go in... wish me luck! :-)