Pluses and minuses.

I've been turned down for a job an the intensive care unit at my hospital. I applied for another job, managed to get an interview but didn't quite make the grade. Apparently I didn't do enough homework, with regards to the nature of the patients and the type of nursing I would be expected to do. I was so bloody nervous as well. I don't know how much I wanted it, but it would have been good to get that ICU qualification. Ah well. At least as I was at a friend's house getting trollied when the call came through. 2 hours later than they said it would. I wish I hadn't told everyone now. Next time I apply for somewhere I'm not going to tell many people, if anyone at all. I just want to get away from this bullying manager. I told the senior ward manager about my increments (or lack thereof) when I asked for a reference. She didn't say much. I have a feeling that I might have put the cat amongst the pigeons now though so I'm going to keep an eye out for other suitable positions.

My army training for part A and a refresher has been confirmed now. I'm so excited, and so dreading telling the ward manager that I would like unpaid leave for part A1. I hadn't booked that and I've a feeling the deputy ward manager has done the off duty. I have just totally changed my off duty for the senior manager though so she might look favourably on me. I'll write a note tonight and slide it under the door. She's not in until Friday. I'll be there so I probably won't be popular. No changes there. I need this training. I've had such a shitty time lately and I still feel crap about what went on last November (see other blog). I'll try to put that across to the boss. She knows what happened.

I'm trying to decide whether to go to fitness class tonight or not. I want to... and I don't. I know I'll be crap because I haven't been for a week. I've just had a sneaky glass of wine. I've been in the car a lot today. I could think up excuse after excuse. The positives of going though probably outweigh the negatives. I can't go again until Sunday because of shifts. I HAVEN'T BEEN FOR A WEEK. The longer I leave it, the harder it gets. It's been a beautiful day today. I get to see the fit instructor (hopefully)! I'm on a long day tomorrow so could do with being outdoors for some of the next 30 hours. It would be good to see everyone again. I have army training in a month. I feel good about myself when I have been. And on and on and on. I think I'll go. I just need to drink some water having had that wine! Time to get cracking with new regimen for army training next month... bring it on!